Self confidence is not… We’ve talked a lot about how to build confidence on this blog. We even published self-confidence apps and dedicate an entire page to build confidence aides. On ‘How to Build Confidence’ we’ve explored how confidence is built, what to do to boost your confidence and ways to take that forward-step in your life. Today I wanted to publish a short post concentrating on what self-confidence is not. I came across the picture below on the Internet. Unfortunately, I don’t know who owns it or where it originates. If you took this photograph please contact me and I’ll add your link as a credit. 

Self confidence is not



Self Confidence is not about being perfect

Self confidence to achieve your goals is obviously not about being or feeling perfect.

The excuse: ‘I don’t have the confidence to make friends because I’m not as outgoing as he is. I’ll wait here in this corner until someone comes and makes friends with me’.

‘I don’t have the confidence to ask for a promotion because my boss doesn’t like me. I’ll wait until I have a more friendly boss’. 

What this picture shows: having self-confidence to achieve your goals has nothing to do with having everything in a perfect place, at a perfect time. This admirable young man could’ve decided to sit at home and labour on the fact he has no arm, or that false arms cost way more than he’d ever afford, or that they’re not available to someone like him. Instead he’s industrious enough to find a solution to his situation. He attaches a string on his stump and carries his load as well (or better than) as you or me would.


What is self confidence? It’s carving your own path to success. Self-confidence is climbing over the mental obstacles that block your physical path – after all, aren’t most obstacles mental ones?

Self confidence is not about having everything required for the job

Many people won’t start a task until they’ve accumulated everything required to do the job. They give up on their inventiveness and their imagination. It’s as if they don’t possess these qualities that aid industriousness.

The excuse: ‘I don’t have the confidence to lose weight because I don’t have anyone to do it with me’.

‘I don’t have the confidence to  leave an abusive relationship because my mother stayed with my dad for years and I must have learned that from her’. 

What this picture shows: having self confidence to achieve your goals has nothing to do with having all the tools you think you need. Self-confidence is about working with what you already have (this is great article showing you how). It’s about opening your eyes to visualise your blessings, count them, appreciate them, and use them to the fullest. This young man lost an arm, but in his book, he’s gotten away from the accident with his life! He’s counting his blessings – the blessing of the life and health he has been given. Therefore, he’s determined to make the best of it.


What is self-confidence? It’s using your initiative to catch the opportunities available to you. Self confidence is keeping your imagination intact so that you can spot those open doors and walk through before they close. 

Self confidence is not about having a worse start than others

We sometimes live a life on a horizontal plane because we’ve already given up before we’ve started. We feel that the rich and more obviously talented have a head start on us, so we won’t bother.

The excuse: ‘Others acheive because they have contacts, are rich, or better looking. I can’t build the self confidence to achieve my dreams because I was born poor. I was born disabled, I was born into a dysfunctional family’.

‘I don’t have the self-confidence to improve my life because I was beaten in my childhood’.

What this picture shows: having self confidence to move forward and advance has nothing to do with your past. You can get over this. Read this article about getting past your past to see what I mean. You too can let go of your bitterness and allow your life to blossom. This young man’s obviously had a less than positive start. This doesn’t bog him down. He gets up, asks someone to tie his string (or maybe he does it himself with one hand), measures the level precisely (for perfect balance) and carries his full wheelbarrow!


Conclusion: Self confidence is not…

If you think you aren’t perfect, you’re right. None of us are. Getting perfect results has nothing to do with being perfect. If you’re thinking you can’t build self confidence because you haven’t got everything required for the job, then you need to know that the reality is – you’ll never have them all. Thing is, if you’re waiting for tools, you’ll always find an excuse to wait for the best and latest ones. You have to work with what you already have. Your past has nothing to do with where you end up. You can find your self-confidence regardless of where you’ve started. 

How about you? What is self confidence not – in your book? If you liked ‘Self confidence is not’ please share it on your social networking sites or send it to someone you think may benefit from it. 


10 Responses to “Self Confidence Is Not”

  1. Hiten says:

    Hi Anne,

    This was a great post and I loved the way you used the inspiring image of the man to convey your messages.

    The most powerful point I’ve taken from your post, is to never keep waiting for right moments to go for what we want. As you say, such times never come. It is best to work with what we have and just do it!
    Hiten recently posted..Job Interview ConfidenceMy Profile

  2. Wow! I enjoy all of your articles Anne, but I’d have to say this is my favorite to date. What an inspirational message and yet so realistic in terms of the advice and life lessons you’ve provided. Thanks for the great read!
    marquita herald recently posted..Unraveling Common ‘Time Management’ MisconceptionsMy Profile

    • Anne says:

      Thank you for your uplifting comment, Marty.

      You’re very kind. I’m glad you found something special here today. It’s why I write – and comments like yours make it all the more satisfying.

  3. Dennis Do says:

    I think it’s when we see who have it less fortunate than us, it’s when we really start to care less about ourselves in terms of being perfect.

    I came across a guy named Sean Stephenson who is disabled and grew to be 3 feet tall, yet he still became success in terms of business career, and ended up marrying a beautiful wife.

    I’m so inspired by this guy… I have him included in my video so I can’t wait to spread out his name in this upcoming week.
    Dennis Do recently posted..3 Secrets That You Need to Know NowMy Profile

  4. Anne says:

    This is what drew me to the picture, Dennis. When we see things like these and people making a life for themselves, suddenly our little troubles become less significant.

  5. Another great article Ann…So many people think that in order to be self confident they have to be perfect or look perfect. Perfection cant be achieved, it can only be strived for. Self confidence comes from the inside, and not based on looks but how comfortable you are in your own skin.
    Like you said, our past has nothing to do with where we end up…we control our destiny.

    Great article Anne!
    Maurice Lindsay recently posted..Comment on Who Do You Spend The Most Time With? by Maurice LindsayMy Profile

  6. Anne, a picture is worth a thousand words. You write so beautifully and give us such inspiration to accomplish our life purpose regardless of what strikes we feel against us. Thank you so much!
    Steve Borgman recently posted..Your Professional Development Plan For Any OccasionMy Profile

  7. Self confidence is important and you’ve given me a new way at looking at it — nice write-up, you got me thinking now!
    Jessica Johnson recently posted..How to Increase Your FICO Score 50 Points in 30 DaysMy Profile

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