Do you think like a loser?

What’s your answer to these questions: Are you a finished product? Is your mind a space that’s already been developed – fully matured? Do you feel like you were born with a certain amount of talent – a talent that’s completely established? If you’ve answered yes to any of the above questions you think like a loser.

Is there hope? There always is! At this particular point in time you may be suffering from a stagnant mindset – a mindset that infected you some time in your past, which tells you that everyone else is better than you because they’ve got (fill in the blank). It’s this loser-mindset that keeps you stuck in a low self-confidence mode, rather than your abilities.

You berate yourself constantly with phrases that you wouldn’t say to your friends if they had the same issues you do. You may be thinking, ‘Hey, look at her. She’s so much better than me. How does she make friends so easily? Why can’t I do that. I’m such a wimp.’ 

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Confidence building may be tough for people like us who’ve had difficult starts in life. However, like tulips, if we were planted in a shady spot, we just have to grow taller to reach where the sunlight IS available. I know this because I had to. And if I could build confidence, anyone can. Here’s your confidence building booster for today. If you have anything to add please tell us in the comment box below. 

I went to a shop recently to get some material to make a bed spread. (I’m into interior design and love to make stuff for our home). A little, old, Chinese woman was also in there shopping. She was probably 5 foot tall and weighed about 100 pounds. This was what called my attention to her in the first place. As some of you know, I’m almost 6 foot tall.

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‘Self-confidence in you’ is a short post to encourage you today and remind you of your value. Recently I read this story which I want to share with you (I’ll paraphrase the story). A guy was giving a talk about personal development, but before he started, he pulled a $20 note from his pocket and asked for a show of hands of all the people who wanted it. Of course, a flurry of hands went up. 

He said that he was going to give the note to one person in the audience but first he wanted to try something. He scrumpled the note between his hands, then squashed it as hard as he could between his two palms. He held the note up and again asked the question. Not put off by the rumpled appearance of the note, hands went up yet again. 

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What is your confidence muscle and how can you grow it? No one likes to step out of their comfort zone – the zone in which everything is known and new activities and thought processes are banished. We talked about the confidence journey in an earlier article and saw the best ways to make this journey successful. Today we’ll look at what to do while on this journey to build your confidence muscle. 

In December last year, my youngest daughter had to have knee surgery. After the surgery, she was fitted with a leg brace for 6 weeks. The brace was made up of mostly metal, but had some vertical straps made of soft, spongy material which were strapped at intervals around her little leg. 

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So how do you do it? Do you know how to build confidence despite barriers in your life? There are several posts on this blog showing you how to build confidence. Today I have a picture for you to illustrate the point I always make and reiterate here: confidence, like Rome, wasn’t and isn’t going to be built in a short time. No, confidence takes time and it’s the first, little steps we take in getting there, that are the most important.

Barriers can be a big deal when they stand in our way of true confidence. They can block our view of the life we want to live which stands on the horizon just within our reach – kind of like the picture immediately below. 

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How To Build Confidence in the Positives is a short, self-esteem post to help you boost your confidence in the good things in life. Are you someone who can’t enjoy the good things in your life because you’re constantly looking out for the negative pay-back you’ll get from that enjoyment?

Are you able to enjoy your vacation? Do you always worry about what’s going to happen at home once your vacation is over?

Do you sometimes worry about having good things happen to you because you’re preparing for the negative back-lash which will come after? Are you in effect caught in a self-doubt trap?

Is you confidence  in the positives life gives you so low that you stop yourself from enjoying them?

Do you feel ill when life is going your way? Are you today worrying about negative things that will never happen, ‘just so you’ll be prepared for them if they do happen?

You’ve obviously got no confidence in positives of life. You like being ‘kept on your toes’ with worry or stress. You won’t enjoy life because you’re scared that your enjoyment will somehow bring pain in the end as a payback. Here are some ways to build confidence in the positives. 

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If you’re like my son, you don’t like school. However, one school we all have to attend is the school of life, and learn life lessons from living in this world. There’s no dropping out, no playing truant, no ‘pulling sickies’. The school of life teaches us many things – one of the major lessons we learn is how to build confidence to make use of the things we’re taught there. Each day, each lesson takes us closer to building and boosting our confidence levels. I’m going to take a wild guess and assume you’re already enrolled in a school of life. I’m going to also guess that when you ticked the ‘terms and conditions’ box to finalise your tuition you didn’t actually read the entire document. Therefore, I’m just going to reiterate some of the major points you may have forgotten over your years of constant attendance. 

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You can get Anne's inspirational memoir by clicking on the page called, 'Anne's Memoir' above.