‘How to get confidence’ is a guest post by Dennis Do
“That’s One Small Step For a Man”
Neil Armstrong is the fearless man who quoted this headline. He was the first man to travel out of space. This is an action that seems unreal and imaginary for some of us. So what if I told you to suit up, and travel to the moon tomorrow? Would you be able to take that ‘one giant leap for mankind’?
Unfortunately, many people are given advice that are too general. Growing up, I was never talkative or outgoing. I had problems when it came to socializing with others. I was sick of who I was, and just wanted to become the opposite of me. I wanted good friends, people who thought that I was charismatic, and just a friendly person all-round. But the most general tip people gave me was: “Just talk to people” or “Be more confident then!”
The advice was right on the money. Surely, it would change me into who I’d love to become. The problem isn’t that it was wrong, but that was just too general. That’s just like me telling you to go to outer space without any prior training—which by the way starts tomorrow at 6 AM. Get suited up!
How to get confidence
If you’re looking for any kind of change in your life, whether it’ be waking up earlier, talking to people, doing some kind of hobby, or even going to the moon, you need to smart small.
One of the biggest obstacles I’ve overcome is talking to people. Not just any ‘people’, though – the feminine kind. Oh right, the technical term for them is ‘girls’.
The problem is that even the thought scared me. Sadly, this fear got the best of me. I didn’t have the confidence to just go up and talk to girls. So how did I eventually get over this fear? Here’s what most people don’t tell you.
How to get confidence one step at a time
The first step to confidence: start small – ridiculously small. You want to start so small that you’d have to purposely try failing in order to actually fail.
So when I had trouble socializing with the opposite sex, I would talk to anyone I was comfortable with: my mom, brother, friends, my dog, or my neighbor’s dog. I had to start out with where I was fully confident.
The second step to confidence: go just a little bit out of your comfort zone.
I started saying a simple ‘Hi’ to people I walked past – male or female. The point of this is to get comfortable with where you are, and slowly but surely, make very small self-improvements.
The third step to confidence: tip your foot into the water.
I remember telling myself to say three words: “How are you”. This was still a very easy process and as time passed it encouraged me to go further and further.
Eventually this process changed me to become more social and more confident in general. It even stopped me from sweating bullets at the thought of interacting with girls!
Everyone’s afraid of something. When you dive head in, you’re likely to be scared at even the thought of it.
How to get confidence round-up
So, do you want to travel out of space, but are too scared of height, motion sickness, or any other uncomfortable aspect of the journey? Turn your head left. Now turn it right. Good, now do it again, but faster. Congratulations, you’re now on the first step of dealing with motion sickness.
Scared of height? Stand your chair and jump off. Good, now stand on your table and jump off. Congratulations, you’re now on the first step of dealing with your fear of heights!
It’s simplicity itself, but these little things turn our fear of doing something into more manageable steps. The most important thing is that you get started doing something because all great journeys have to start with a single footstep. What step are you taking today to get confidence?
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Dennis Do is the founder of Self Exceed.com. He talks about anything relating to self improvement which come from his personal experiences. His advice tends to lean on the humorous side. He can also be found on his YouTube channel and various social media sites.