The loss of self-confidence bug will affect everyone at some point in their lives. You can be hit with it out of the blue – sometimes even after confident periods in your life. There’s no set reason why this is so. Life happens and a series of let-downs, or a group of unfortunate events can bring it on. Perhaps after trying for years at something which refuses to come together we may realise the hard way that there are more ways than one to build self confidence. This realisation can hit us for six.

At other times, it’s difficult not to feel like the world is conspiring against you – even when you know this can’t possibly be true. Isn’t it amazing how bad things happen – in a series of events – when you’re already at your lowest?

Loss of self-confidence

you sometimes lose the things you've managed to hold onto for a long time

My story: bad news

I was really ill last week. Some of you may have noticed my absence on the web. Coupled with this, we were going through a stressful week due to stuff going on with the kids’ health etc. The weather in August has been dire, however on the day we had a promise of some sunshine, I went outside into the garden to get some fresh air into my lungs.

I was weak on my feet so slipped over a small branch on the ground. My shoes fell off my foot as I slipped. My foot could land nowhere else but on a holly branch (naturally), which stopped my fall. A massive holly thorn pierced through my sock and into my heel. The weight of my body caused the thorn to break, leaving the top part of it embedded deep into my foot.

Luckily my husband was home (and so were my kids, who’re still home on school summer holidays). My oldest daughter and husband worked with a couple of needles, nail clippers (to remove the skin they had to cut off to enable them to see the splinter), and even some frozen peas (to numb the spot). The sharp thorn kept breaking into bits, and because it was so deep into my heel, refused to come out entirely. Finally, after much screaming and squeezing (of my daughter’s hands) I couldn’t take it any more. I begged them to leave the splinter in. I wasn’t in the the frame of mind to endure that kind of torture – even though I have a high threshold of pain.

Hopeful news

I’d read somewhere that Duct Tape was good for teasing out verrucas. Thankfully, I’ve (strangely) never had a verruca – so I didn’t know if this was true or not. It was said in the article that if you put a piece of Duct Tape on a verruca and left it on for a couple of weeks, the tape draws out the virus. Of course, you have to change the tape each time it falls off or gets old etc.  I thought I’d try some Duct Tape on my splinter. This was totally blind faith. I’d used Duct Tape for some strange things before but:

Didn’t know if it worked for verrucas

Realised that even if it did, it may not work for holly thorns

I still wanted to give it a try. So I rubbed a bit of Vaseline on the now throbbing, needle-ripped wound, and placed a large piece of Duct Tape over it. Why the Vaseline? I don’t really know. I use Vaseline for most random things I don’t have any other answer for.

Good news!

One and a half days later, I pulled the Duct Tape off and found that the once deeply-buried splinter was lying on the entrance of the wound. Yes, it was there, splendiferous in its sharp, blackness – right at the top, ready for me to just remove.

Loss of Self-Confidence when the world is conspiring against you:

Several things can make you lose your confidence:

You’ve had a terrible start in life (because of my illness I felt I could do nothing right).

You didn’t inherit any wealth. Your upbringing was less than perfect. (I had no energy – no spring board to work from).

You’ve heard that everyone has their own talents. You know you must have them somewhere but haven’t found yours yet. (Each time I felt like I should be getting better, I felt worse instead).

You have no one in your life who encourages you and tells you you’re great. Yes, the world is conspiring against you and self-confidence is hard to build at a time when everything in your life seems really low. You may not be physically as ill as I was, but your whole life seems like an illness.  (Illness, slip of shoes, foot landing on holly branch, thorn breaking – it all adds up).

Hopeful news when loss of self-confidence hits

You’ve heard that it’s possible for everyone to build self confidence. You read blogs like How to Build Confidence and have seen some of the really positive things a high level of confidence can bring you.

Great news in building confidence:

1. Sometimes giving up is good. If you’re fighting too hard, something’s got to give. Don’t give up on yourself and your confidence. Give up on the stress of running around and going nowhere. Do an about turn. Stop.  Put some ‘tape’ on and try again later. Maybe you’re not meant to have that – just yet.

2. If something has worked for someone else you may think it won’t work for you because you’re stronger, weaker, different, older, younger etc. But what if it would? Try it.

3. When loss of self-confidence hits, don’t wait to have all the answers before you start re-building your confidence. Duct Tape was supposed to work for verruca, but it worked for holly splinters as well. Take the first step. You don’t need to have the whole thing planned out.

4. Take a chance! Remember the things you did when you were younger? How spontaneous you were and how rewarded you were for it? What happened to that you? Where did he/she go? So you don’t know that it will work. You don’t know that you can overcome that hardship in your life by doing (insert your individual goal). But if you never tried it, you’ll never find out.

5. Always remember – if you forget everything else from this illustration – life never gives you all the tools for the job because you already possess half of them. You may not know that you do – but you do! So when all you have is a tray of lemons, you know what to do, don’t you? You just cut them in half – and squeeze for all you’re worth.

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