Where do feelings come from? This is a very important question to ask yourself because if you knew where your feeling of low self confidence is coming from, you’ll be able to address it and fix it!
Do feelings appear from the mind? Are they born of what people say to us? Are they a result of our past? Our upbringing? Are feelings there because they appear in the night in our dreams? Where do you think feelings come from? Particularly, where does your feeling low self confidence come from?
Feelings are not the start of our emotions. Thoughts are. We have a thought, we dwell on it, we allow ourself to believe it, then we start ‘feeling’ it. Your feelings of low confidence did not appear in your life and mind overnight. It crept in there from a little thought that seeded, then grew, then matured in your mind.
Yes, your feelings come from your thoughts. Change your thoughts and you can change your feelings!
Now that you know this, what are you going to do about it? Here are some points to help you change your thoughts in order to change your feelings.
How to change your feelings
1. Change your feelings by challenging your thoughts
Now you know that your feelings of low self-confidence are directly affected to how you think, you have to challenge these thoughts when they pop into your mind. It would be easy for me to tell you to just stop thinking those thoughts, but if you’ve been doing them for years this would be almost impossible to do. Start this process by challenging the thoughts when they pop into your mind.
For example, when you think ‘ I can’t do this because I don’t have the skill’, challenge this thought by thinking of similar things you’ve done successfully before, or with your other strengths – things you can do just as well, if not better than other people.
Challenging your negative thoughts will break them down bit by bit – in the same way you built them up bit by bit.
2. Change your feelings by finding solutions to negative thoughts
When the thought pops up in your head which will give vent to your low self confidence feelings, find it a solution. For instance if you think your interview won’t go well because you don’t have a brilliant interview track record, find solutions with which to feed your mind. Search for interview advice on the Internet. Have a practise run with your peers and film it so that you can see your physical reactions and what you can change. Get yourself a new outfit so you’ll look your best. Do your research about the job and prepare yourself well.
When you’ve done this, feed your mind with all positive information each time you find yourself thinking you won’t have a good interview. For each problem, have a positive answer and retrain yourself to be problem solving. As we said, you probably won’t be able to get rid of your negative thoughts straight away. However, you can find solutions to stop your negativity veering out of control.
3. Change your feelings by training your thoughts
As we said before, thinking positively about your self-confidence may be difficult at this stage, but here’s a way you can start this process – as a filler until it becomes a natural thing for you to do. Here’s what will help. Find a quiet time of day. Some people find waking up 10 minutes earlier works best. Others prefer to do it in the evening. Close your eyes and think of all the things you’re good at and all the ways people have benefited from you and your talent in the past.
You may find yourself distracted at first, but you have to persist for this to work. You’re retraining your thoughts to dwell on your strengths rather than on your weaknesses. If this feels a bit strange at first, this is natural. Remember you’re asking your mind to do something you don’t normally do. It’ll take time to adjust.
Do this exercise each day for about 10 minutes at a time. You will plant the seed of positive self-confidence and it will grow from there and mature. This is providing it’s fed and watered daily by you. Don’t stop this when you’re feeling better. Make it a lifestyle so you’re not tempted to go back to your past way of thinking.
These three points should help you change your feelings because they help you change your thoughts. If you’ve enjoyed or benefited from ‘How To Change Your Feelings’ please share the word on your social networking sites or with someone who needs it today. Thank you.