Confidence building may be tough for people like us who’ve had difficult starts in life. However, like tulips, if we were planted in a shady spot, we just have to grow taller to reach where the sunlight IS available. I know this because I had to. And if I could build confidence, anyone can. Here’s your confidence building booster for today. If you have anything to add please tell us in the comment box below. 

I went to a shop recently to get some material to make a bed spread. (I’m into interior design and love to make stuff for our home). A little, old, Chinese woman was also in there shopping. She was probably 5 foot tall and weighed about 100 pounds. This was what called my attention to her in the first place. As some of you know, I’m almost 6 foot tall.



tulips reaching high for the sun

But this is not what I wanted to tell you about her (and I do have a confidence-building lesson to all this). She was speaking Cantonese (at least I thought this is what it was) to an Indian shopkeeper in a small town in the South West of England, and wearing tiny, kids’ sized sandals with bobby socks. This combination meant she had to drag her feet to keep her sandals on. This however – strange as it may seem –  is still not what I wanted to tell you about this woman (remember, I do have a point). There is one last detail, and here it is.

This tiny woman had no teeth – none whatsoever. Yet, she was chewing gum. Well, I say ‘chewing’.  She was ‘mashing’ the chewing gum between her gums and using her tongue to keep it (the gum) inside her mouth. Before witnessing this bizarre behaviour, I’d never understood how important a role teeth play in keeping food (and gum) inside one’s mouth. Speaking Cantonese to an Indian shopkeeper in England, while trying to chew gum without teeth is no easy feat. Yet, this woman managed to do it.

My point is, our lack of confidence has a lot to do with how we think. Some older people say they can’t learn to use a computer because of their age, while others older than they are skyping and sending emails across the world.

Parents say they have no time to spend with their kids, while single mothers are managing to do the job of two parents and still raise well-rounded and well-behaved kids.

Decide today to do something you feel you can’t do because you think you haven’t got what it takes. This will build your confidence no end. 

Love life and if you haven’t got teeth to take your bite out of life, use your gums instead! You CAN have your cake and eat it too. As it turns out, gums are as good as teeth for chewing. Remember: one bite at a time builds confidence. Look at your confidence-building journey as one step at a time. You don’t need to know the entire map. Just keep on going. 

I saw this woman with my own eyes! Contrary to popular belief, you can chew without teeth.

Please send this to help someone who needs it today. As always thanks for visiting and for sharing. Please check out our confidence-building aides page before you go. 

48 Responses to “Confidence building: You Can Do It!”

  1. Taxi Da Nang says:

    “Love life and if you haven’t got teeth to take your bite out of life, use your gums instead! ” I like it! So meaningful! 🙂

  2. Sumit Arora says:

    Quite true.

    In one movie, I learned that easiest way of tackling a problem is to face it directly.

    • Sam Ali says:

      Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

  3. SR Cloud says:

    I have teeth and confidence. I count myself lucky. Actually, I don’t have a lot of confidence – just enough to post random stuff on blogs and not worry too much about it.

    Nice post. Nice site. Thank you.

  4. Tomas says:

    Interesting article,was nice to read

  5. Jitesh Patil says:

    We are always face different situation. When we face that situation we can handle this type situation next time. In this small moments are increase our confidents.

    Confidance building is very necessary in our life.

  6. Rober Hunter says:

    This is an interesting articles. Everyday we must introspection of our self. This article is helpfull to improve our self undertanding. Thank you

  7. Deco_SLiM says:


    I always lack the confidence of speaking in public events…

    I can remember when I was called to give a speech I nearly fainted….

    This has really messed my career…

    I will take to consideration what you just said…

  8. Mobila says:

    I belive that lack of self confidence, is the biggest disease in this world.
    It has an impact in a lot of crucial life aspects.

  9. life is to live and it is what you get once only. Come what may,we have to live meaningful life.Little lady from China is real example of courage
    Ramakant Sharma recently posted..SETTING THE CURRENT IN MIG WELDING MACHINEMy Profile

  10. Panic Away says:

    I try to do things that scare me because most of the time when I commit to doing them the feeling of achievement I get when I actually overcome my fear builds confidence.
    Panic Away recently posted..Relaxation Techniques For AnxietyMy Profile

  11. Dani says:

    I loved the article so much. Nice reading it. Keep on writing as good as this.

  12. Livefreecamx says:

    Just another great article! The confidence is a serious and an important thing! Thanks for this article

  13. You did it again Anne! Another wonderful article…short, sweet, and powerful!

    Whenever I take on the challenge of doing something I don’t think I can do, 9.8 out of 10 times, I always end up being great at it. But it’s the fear of failing that holds most people back, when failure doesn’t really even really exist. The only way we fail is by not trying!

    I loved this article. You got me pumped up to go do something I scared to do lol!
    Maurice Lindsay recently posted..Why Aren’t You Living Life On PurposeMy Profile

    • Anne says:

      I liked that, Maurice. ‘The only way we fail is by not trying’. This is true for all of us I think. Even if things don’t work out the way we want, at least we’ve attained another skill and we know what doesn’t work for the next time we attempt it. Thanks for dropping by.
      Anne recently posted..Monthly DIY ProjectsMy Profile

  14. Hiten says:

    Hi Anne,

    This was a wonderful post and I loved the story about the Chinese woman!

    When I came to the end of your post and read what you wrote about doing something we feel we can’t do because we think we haven’t got what it takes, really struck a chord for me.

    Indeed, you are spot on. One of the greatest ways to increase our confidence is by doing the very thing we feel we can’t.

    Thank you.
    Hiten recently posted..How to Make ConversationMy Profile

    • Anne says:

      Definitely, Hiten. And I always have to remind myself about this. Overcoming our fears and taking steps we didn’t think we could are simple ways of stepping out of that comfort zone we love so much. And this is what builds confidence.

  15. sally brown says:

    Hi Anne,

    I love this article! Your analogy and writing are so great! You lifted my confidence just by the reading of this. I can hardly chew gum with teeth. I tend to bite my lip or cheek. LOL Sally
    sally brown recently posted..Are You Overwhelmed? Are You Pulling Your Hair Out?My Profile

  16. Amber Moore says:

    I believe that life is how we view it. We can choose to say that we can never do someting, or we can go out and make it happen. I have struggled with poor self-esteem in the past, and am now starting to realize that having positive thoughts about myself and what I can accomplish is what is most important. Thank you for your article.

    • Anne says:

      Thanks for visiting the site Amber, and for leaving your insightful comment. Positive thinking (or at least challenging your negative thoughts) are definite ways of getting over low self-esteem.
      Anne recently posted..Monthly DIY ProjectsMy Profile

  17. Raghavendra says:

    Hi! Thank you very much for the post. Recently i had been to an interview and was feeling quite nervous.. I believe that confidence building surely helps everyone in all the aspects of their lives 🙂
    Raghavendra recently posted..Motor Output logic for Line follower Robot!My Profile

  18. Hi Anne,
    Sorry for my late reply. I was away for two weeks. Oh I love the picture you painted in this story. I can vividly see this woman as you wrote about her.
    She managed to mash her gum chewing and didn’t give a hoot about it. Now that is confidence.
    Our confidence lies in what we think! When we lack confidence, it only holds us back of our becomming. Excuses are just blocks we put in front of ourselves not to grow.
    Awesome analogy!
    Donna Merrill recently posted..Flying The Coop For Fresh Eyes On Your BusinessMy Profile

    • Anne says:

      Thank you, Donna. I’m so glad you could see the picture I was trying to paint. And don’t worry about being late. Being here is what matters. Hope you had a relaxing time away.

  19. Being a wedding photographer I often find myself giving advice on public speaking. I always tell people that being confident is just a choice. I choose to be outgoing, i choose to be sure of the things i say. I dont think anything more to it. Even if i feel nervous i act with full confidence and very soon i feel and believe in that confidence myself.

  20. Oh I love your analogy Anne! I’m one of those people who is quite happy doing my thing behind the scenes, so my way of managing self-confidence is simply to not give up on things that matter. If I hit a wall, I quietly find away around, over or through – whatever it takes. It’s an empowering feeling that I make a point of tucking away for future reference … for the next obstacle.
    marquita herald recently posted..Starting Today – Ask for What You Want in LifeMy Profile

    • Anne says:

      Welcome back, Marty. And thanks for your visit and comment. It’s always great to have you round and I appreciate your insightful input.

      I love your phrase ‘give up on things that matter’. Some times we think we can’t give up because that makes us weak. However, we have to realise that not everything is important to our confidence. We have to work out what really matters and stick to that.
      Anne recently posted..Monthly DIY ProjectsMy Profile

  21. Micah says:

    We all need a confidence to tackle our problems in life.

    The confidence is huge part of our lives to be successful………

    Nice article i like it.

  22. Toboc Deals says:

    Great I love your concord Anne! Such a energetic writing, short but most effective release. i was also like some fearing nature. Before starting anything, i was thinking about my nagative result. But I always end up being great at it. It was only fear that holds most people away, when mistake doesn’t virtually exist.
    The only path of success is trying, practice, believe and confident on yourself.

  23. TGergo says:

    Hi Anne!

    Without self confidence, no one can live a healthy life. I had some problems earlier in my life, I had absolutely no self confidence.
    After some really bad happening in my life, I realized, that I have to change my life.

    This article remembered me the old times, and now I am able to compare it to my actual life, now it’s real better.

    Thanks for your write.


  24. Robi says:

    very inspiring post!
    without confidence, one cannot move towards his dreams and hardly face the life’s challenges.
    i would say confidence is the strength for people to rise up and strive for whatever they want to achieve.

  25. […] So once change the way you see things, the things you see will change. Embrace your uniqueness and the gifts that God gave you and you will go along way! You may not be perfect, but Jesus thought you were to good enough to die for… and that alone should boost your self confidence. […]

  26. Andreas says:

    It s so true! Some people need a pinstripe suit to feel confident. Others have the same confidence wearing yellow tweety socks.

  27. Darrell says:

    Hi Anne, it’s good to read your article again. This shows of who I am as a person because in a process I gain confidence to myself. I tell you, the encouraging topics concerning building confidence contribute to me a lot. Thanks again!

  28. shai says:

    I completely agree, confidence is the number one thing any human should concentrate. Growing up I learned that what I think of my self is what others think of me. So if I think good of my self others will too! 🙂
    shai recently posted..Dentist in Boca Raton – George SoropoulosMy Profile

  29. Great post and great blog! I just found your site and we’re on an ongoing quest to conquer the world and live life to the fullest. I love the tip to try something that you don’t think you can accomplish. We are trying to do this on a regular basis and our lifestyle has become incredible for it!

    Great quote: “Love life and if you haven’t got teeth to take your bite out of life, use your gums instead! ”

    Would you mind if I used it and linked back to this article from my site?

    Thanks for the boost.
    Nick – Goats On The Road recently posted..Top 5 Things To Do In The UKMy Profile

    • Anne says:

      HI Nick, Thanks for your comment. And no, I don’t mind if you link to this article. The more people we can help build confidence – the better.

  30. Paul says:

    Very interesting article. It just proves that we become what we think about. Our thoughts shape our world.

  31. Amit Pandey says:

    it great job to build self confidence in teen agers.

  32. Thanks for your inspirational post. Im going through a tough part of my life and self confidence really helps
    Ruchira Sahan recently posted..Honor 3 images and specifications leakedMy Profile

    • Anne says:

      I hope that what you read here on this blog can help your tough climb a bit easier. And you’re right, self confidence helps when you’re feeling low. It makes you believe that you can rise again.

  33. Guildford says:

    the best way to boost your confidence is to stand in front of mirror and talk to self.

  34. Sahil Patel says:

    Look at the sky. We are not alone. The whole universe is friendly to us and conspires only to give the best to those who dream and work.

  35. tu bep says:

    I lack confidence, thanks for article, it’s really useful for me!

  36. Hi Anne,

    That was indeed a nice story and yes, if you feel you can – you CAN or no you just can’t. The choice always lies in your hands and you have to decide what you want to do about it also.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend 🙂

  37. You need auto-control to induct your confidence … you need confidence to succeed in life to be free ! Like Buddha said to be a free man you need to let your daily’s fears away , like your girlfriend is going to leave, to lose your job , that you will not succeed and other stuff like that but you will have to be carefully too not be ignorant

Leave a Reply to Anne

This blog uses Comment Love Premium which kindly allows you to put your keywords with your name. Use your REAL name and then @ your keywords (maximum of [1]) All spam goes straight into my spam folder and deleted. They never get looked at, so save yourself some time and leave a real comment.

You can get Anne's inspirational memoir by clicking on the page called, 'Anne's Memoir' above.