What does confidence and forgiveness have in common? At first glance they seem to be miles apart, but if you look closely you’ll find that forgiveness has a large part to play where your confidence is concerned. A lot of people live their lives in the shadow of what happened in their childhoods, in their past, with their exes, with their schoolmates etc.
They can’t perform to the best of their abilities because they can still remember what their parents didn’t do to help them thrive. They can still remember the bullies at school and how they told them they would amount to nothing: they were too fat or too unattractive to achieve their goals – too short to amount to anything, or too tall to be accepted by their more ‘normal’ peers.
Forgiveness frees you from captivity
Not forgiving holds you captive to all the thoughts associated with feelings you had while being bullied. See how thoughts and feelings collide to strip you of confidence. The longer you hold onto the things ‘they’ did to make you feel useless and the things they said you couldn’t do, is the longer you’re stuck unable to do them. Free yourself from this captivity of inactivity by deciding to forgive. Once you do this you can make your own thoughts, your own goals, your own plans on how to live your life by your terms – not by the way others have designed for you.
Forgiveness returns the power to you
Letting go of bad feelings about someone returns the power to you. The power is in their court for as long as you’re allowing them to direct your goals, your life your confidence your thoughts. They said you couldn’t, so you don’t. They said you’re not good enough and you’ve held onto that thought and by it, made yourself not good enough.
Holding onto the way they’ve dictated for you to live hands over the power of self to them. It may feel as though you’re relinquishing your hold when you let go and forgive, but you’re actually doing the opposite. It takes bravery to let go of trauma and bad feelings, but when you decide to do just that you’re returning your power to you. Remember that your feelings are yours. People who hurt you are gone. Some don’t even remember or think about what they’ve done to you. The suffering of the situation is only felt by you. The power to give it up and get past your past also lies with you.
Forgiveness is peace
Forgiveness brings peace, and peace brings clarity. Harbouring negative thoughts about someone doesn’t hurt them in the least. The only person who gets hurt from negative thoughts is you. This impacts on what you can achieve in your life. Most importantly, it impacts on what you believe you can achieve in life. Your confidence is affected tremendously if you – of all people – don’t believe in yourself.
Having peace in your life (after letting go) brings you clarity of judgement and thought. Never underestimate what your mind is capable of. If they said you couldn’t, forgiving them will leave your mind clear to think you can.
Confidence and forgiveness go hand in hand. Forgive others and learn to forgive yourself to see where this new found freeness of mind can take you. Give yourself the permission to shake off the thoughts that hold you down and fly to reach your full potential.
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