Do you think like a loser?

What’s your answer to these questions: Are you a finished product? Is your mind a space that’s already been developed – fully matured? Do you feel like you were born with a certain amount of talent – a talent that’s completely established? If you’ve answered yes to any of the above questions you think like a loser.

Is there hope? There always is! At this particular point in time you may be suffering from a stagnant mindset – a mindset that infected you some time in your past, which tells you that everyone else is better than you because they’ve got (fill in the blank). It’s this loser-mindset that keeps you stuck in a low self-confidence mode, rather than your abilities.

You berate yourself constantly with phrases that you wouldn’t say to your friends if they had the same issues you do. You may be thinking, ‘Hey, look at her. She’s so much better than me. How does she make friends so easily? Why can’t I do that. I’m such a wimp.’ 

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Gratitude

in confident, by Anne

I’m going through a very trying, tough period at the moment. There are lots of negative thoughts swirling around inside my head. Each time I take two steps forward I feel as though I’ve taken three big steps back. I think things are getting better but then I find out they aren’t.

I’ve been reading a lot on the Internet to help myself feel better. I came across these few paragraphs (below) on Facebook and knew I had to share them with you. They may not (strictly) have anything to do with building confidence, but are certainly a massive boost if you’re looking for one today. Make sure you read the entire thing.

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The Climb

in confident, by Anne

This was the climb of our life. Last year my family and I went to Paris for 3 weeks. We stayed in a beautiful little house in the middle of Paris. An added bonus was that it – surprisingly – came with a nice little garden.  My husband was working at the Sorbonne while we were there but we took time off to visit the sites too.

We went to a beautiful garden in the middle of the city and noticed that there was a quaint little tower at the very top of a high hill (picture below). At first glance the hill seemed extremely rocky and impossibly unreachable. We weren’t even considering getting to the tower until we noticed that there were some people there. We couldn’t see them very well because they were tiny and very far away. However, on careful inspection, we realised that yes, there were bodies moving around up there and yes, they were real. 

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Last year I published some confidence quotes on this blog and they received a lot of attention. I think it’s time for another instalment of confidence quotes so I’ve spent hours collecting these for you. I think quotes about confidence and confidence building are important because they carry such simple messages in a few words. I know that I feel stronger and more inspired after reading quotes like the ones below. I wish the same for you too. 

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Body confidence is not that hard to achieve. A lot of young people think that body confidence is the enjoyment we get from people admiring how perfect we are. They think that in order to be body confident, you have to have perfect teeth, smooth skin, be a perfect size 10 and have the best combination of what ever hair-type is the fad at any given time. (I worked with teenagers for 10 years). We see how silly this idea is when we look at celebrities who go to extreme measures to ‘have the perfect body’.

Aren’t they already being held in esteem by others? Aren’t they revered and longed for? Aren’t their bodies the ones we’re supposed to strive for? Yet they’re starving themselves and going under painful procedures to maintain that apparent ‘perfect body’. Now,  if they aren’t body confident with all the seeming ‘perfection’ they strive for, what really does give a person body confidence?

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Confidence building may be tough for people like us who’ve had difficult starts in life. However, like tulips, if we were planted in a shady spot, we just have to grow taller to reach where the sunlight IS available. I know this because I had to. And if I could build confidence, anyone can. Here’s your confidence building booster for today. If you have anything to add please tell us in the comment box below. 

I went to a shop recently to get some material to make a bed spread. (I’m into interior design and love to make stuff for our home). A little, old, Chinese woman was also in there shopping. She was probably 5 foot tall and weighed about 100 pounds. This was what called my attention to her in the first place. As some of you know, I’m almost 6 foot tall.

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What does confidence and forgiveness have in common? At first glance they seem to be miles apart, but if you look closely you’ll find that forgiveness has a large part to play where your confidence is concerned.  A lot of people live their lives in the shadow of what happened in their childhoods, in their past, with their exes, with their schoolmates etc. 

They can’t perform to the best of their abilities because they can still remember what their parents didn’t do to help them thrive. They can still remember the bullies at school and how they told them they would amount to nothing: they were too fat or too unattractive to achieve their goals – too short to amount to anything, or too tall to be accepted by their more ‘normal’ peers.

Forgiveness frees you from captivity

Not forgiving holds you captive to all the thoughts associated with feelings you had while being bullied. See how thoughts and feelings collide to strip you of confidence. The longer you hold onto the things ‘they’ did to make you feel useless and the things they said you couldn’t do, is the longer you’re stuck unable to do them. Free yourself from this captivity of inactivity by deciding to forgive. Once you do this you can make your own thoughts, your own goals, your own plans on how to live your life by your terms – not by the way others have designed for you. 

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You can get Anne's inspirational memoir by clicking on the page called, 'Anne's Memoir' above.