How To Build Confidence in the Positives is a short, self-esteem post to help you boost your confidence in the good things in life. Are you someone who can’t enjoy the good things in your life because you’re constantly looking out for the negative pay-back you’ll get from that enjoyment?

Are you able to enjoy your vacation? Do you always worry about what’s going to happen at home once your vacation is over?

Do you sometimes worry about having good things happen to you because you’re preparing for the negative back-lash which will come after? Are you in effect caught in a self-doubt trap?

Is you confidence  in the positives life gives you so low that you stop yourself from enjoying them?

Do you feel ill when life is going your way? Are you today worrying about negative things that will never happen, ‘just so you’ll be prepared for them if they do happen?

You’ve obviously got no confidence in positives of life. You like being ‘kept on your toes’ with worry or stress. You won’t enjoy life because you’re scared that your enjoyment will somehow bring pain in the end as a payback. Here are some ways to build confidence in the positives. 

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If you’re like my son, you don’t like school. However, one school we all have to attend is the school of life, and learn life lessons from living in this world. There’s no dropping out, no playing truant, no ‘pulling sickies’. The school of life teaches us many things – one of the major lessons we learn is how to build confidence to make use of the things we’re taught there. Each day, each lesson takes us closer to building and boosting our confidence levels. I’m going to take a wild guess and assume you’re already enrolled in a school of life. I’m going to also guess that when you ticked the ‘terms and conditions’ box to finalise your tuition you didn’t actually read the entire document. Therefore, I’m just going to reiterate some of the major points you may have forgotten over your years of constant attendance. 

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Body confidence is something anyone can build, regardless of their body’s shape, size or weight. We all know short people, big people, tall people, skinny people, disabled people etc., who’re equally confident about their bodies. We also know another group of the aforementioned list who’re lacking in body confidence. 

But what is it that makes one person less or more body confident than the other person? It’s certainly not their body shape or size, or there would never be successful people who’re unattractive, right? Right! It must be something else then. Regardless of what you think of your body there has to be (at least) one great thing about it – your legs, your hair, your voice, your dimples… the list is enormous. Look at the picture below. I took this picture of a tiny, white water lily at the very end of its growing season.  The lily itself was not a great – it was one of the puniest I’ve ever seen. However, taken against the background of the shabby,  unimpressive leaves, the lily seems a perfect specimen!

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You know the difference between dunno and donut, right? Sure, you do! You know what a dunno is. You’ve had it loads of times!  And you also know what a d0nut is. (We spell it ‘doughnut’. However, I’m using the US version in my post title because it’s shorter for my url). A doughnut is a hole in the middle with sweet-stuff round the edges. A dunno is a hole in the middle with no-stuff around it.

My 11-year old daughter asked me yesterday what I wanted for Christmas. I said, ‘Dunno’.

‘A doughnut!’ she said. ‘Why do you want a doughnut?’

‘No,’ I replied. ‘Not a doughnut. I don’t know

‘Well, if you don’t know,’ she said, ‘You won’t get anything. At least a doughnut is something.’

Out of the mouths of babes….

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Have you lost your confidence to take risks? In every aspect of your life, there will people who get things you’re ‘supposed’ to have. Yet they don’t seem to have more talent than you do. Believe me, I work in the filming industry and see examples of this on a weekly basis. You work hard and spend a lot of time nurturing your dream – then someone else pops up, says the ‘right’ words and viola! They’ve got what should belong to you.

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‘How to get confidence’ is a guest post by Dennis Do

“That’s One Small Step For a Man”

Neil Armstrong is the fearless man who quoted this headline. He was the first man to travel out of space. This is an action that seems unreal and imaginary for some of us. So what if I told you to suit up, and travel to the moon tomorrow? Would you be able to take that ‘one giant leap for mankind’?

Unfortunately, many people are given advice that are too general. Growing up, I was never talkative or outgoing. I had problems when it came to socializing with others.  I was sick of who I was, and  just wanted to become the opposite of me. I wanted good friends, people who thought that I was charismatic, and just a friendly person all-round.  But the most general tip people gave me was: “Just talk to people” or “Be more confident then!”

The advice was right on the money. Surely, it would change me into who I’d love to become. The problem isn’t that it was wrong, but that was just too general. That’s just like me telling you to go to outer space without any prior training—which by the way starts tomorrow at 6 AM. Get suited up!

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The loss of self-confidence bug will affect everyone at some point in their lives. You can be hit with it out of the blue – sometimes even after confident periods in your life. There’s no set reason why this is so. Life happens and a series of let-downs, or a group of unfortunate events can bring it on. Perhaps after trying for years at something which refuses to come together we may realise the hard way that there are more ways than one to build self confidence. This realisation can hit us for six.

At other times, it’s difficult not to feel like the world is conspiring against you – even when you know this can’t possibly be true. Isn’t it amazing how bad things happen – in a series of events – when you’re already at your lowest?

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You can get Anne's inspirational memoir by clicking on the page called, 'Anne's Memoir' above.