The words ‘self-confidence’ and ‘negativity’ should probably never be used together, especially if you’re using the latter to build the former. We’ve dealt with articles (here on How To Build Confidence) about letting go of your past and saw that the choice of whether your past will break or make you lies solely with you (click on link to read the article). What then, does negativity have to do with self-confidence? Doesn’t negativity break down self-confidence? Doesn’t it make people feel bad about themselves and trigger self-doubt and lack-of motivation? How in the world can negativity help build your self-confidence?
Self confidence and negativity
External negativity is a door you choose to open
A lot of my readers have read my inspirational memoir and know of my past struggles and triumph over abuse and poverty. My entire young life was saturated with negativity – not only general negativity, but negativity that was aimed specifically at me. When I was a child I knew no better, of course, I absorbed some of this negativity. As I grew, I realised I had a choice, so I made up a different world inside my head. The world I made up then, is the world I thankfully, have now. External negativity aimed at you needn’t be absorbed by you. Stay vigilant and reassure yourself that you can choose to enter that dark door or walk right past – leaving it closed.
You won’t become strong unless you build strength
And the only way to build strength is to work at it – practise it. You can’t teach kids patience unless you make them wait for things. You can’t learn humility unless you have been made to feel humble. You can’t appreciate wealth unless you’ve seen or experienced what being without is really like. You can’t build strength of character unless you’ve had to face some sort of hardship.
You won’t have callouses – battle scars – unless your skin has felt the pressure of strenuous work.
If you don’t want the sole of your feet to harden, become dry and cracked – never learn to walk.
But who wants to remain in a wheelchair all their lives when they potentially have legs that work!
It’s the same with self-confidence. It’s the negatives in life that are best for building it up.
Negatives are only negatives if you take them as such. Let me explain in this next section:
Your past experiences have all been gifted to make you who you are today
And here is the application of self-confidence and negativity; the abuse I went through, although a terrible thing for a child to face (I should know. I’ve got scars to show for it) were all rich building blocks in my life. My creator wanted me to arrive to where I am today. He knew where I was going to be at this very minute, at this very stage of my life. All that’s happened on my past journey (and the things happening to me today) are enriching my life and moulding me into the person I am and will be.
Therefore, bad or good, the events which taught me all I know must have all been schooling to bring me to me. I like who I am. If they made me into a good person, how then can I consider them negative?
Physically speaking, we’re all made perfect. Whether we have 1 leg or 2, are mute or able to speak, short or tall, we’re all made perfectly. Different – but perfect for who we are and what we can achieve (just refer to the recent Para Olympics). Who’s to say that a two-legged individual is the perfection of the human race just because most of us have 2 legs. Who’s to say that the hardship some of us face in life (compare to the ease of others’ lives) is a bad thing. It’s not bad – just different. (Note: I’m not talking about atrocities some humans inflict on others. This is a totally different matter)
So, can external negativity build self-confidence
You tell me! I know for certain that if you depend on positivity to build your confidence you’ll remain a weakling all your life. Life is about positives and negatives. And depending on how you view life – perhaps more negativity than positivity. We’ve simply got to learn use what we see as negativity to build up your self-confidence…
‘… because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope….’ Romans 5;3-5
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