The way to boost confidence is not just by reading every self-confidence book
Remember that self-confidence doesn’t come from the outside. It’s the way you react to external situation which causes the let-down you feel about yourself. Confident people are those who stay upbeat even in rough times, and positive in times of distress. If good times categorically brought elation – and hard times desperation, then we would all be a bunch of depressed people.
Sometimes we allow the small percentage of people in the world who have fame and fortune to be the measuring stick against which we rate our lives and our success, thus our confidence. We forget that unlike them we live normal lives, we have to manage our own finances, battle our own health and weight issues, raise our own children and travel without a posse to carry our physical and emotional baggage.
In order to do all of these things effectively, we need to forget the rat race to fame, fortune and outward boldness, and dedicate some time to boost confidence from within. Let’s see how this is done by establishing an inner peace and self-fulfilment.
boost confidence: start with inner peace
Even if you live in a flat, find time to pot up plants (even vegetables can be grown in pots with a measure of care) and look after them. No one worries or feels inferior (or ‘not up to the job’) while gardening. One only has to try it to see the psychological benefits and sense of achievement growing something from scratch brings. Even if you aren’t one of the green-fingered bunch, maybe a good start for you would be to volunteer at a local garden centre for a few hours a week. You’ll find that the further your hands sink into the dirt, the deeper your problems get buried, and the higher your sense of self-satisfaction soars. Self-satisfaction, garnered from doing small things, is the start of building confidence.
Outline your ‘so-called’ short-comings on a clean sheet of paper, then under each of them, lay out the worst possible, and the best possible outcomes if you didn’t fix them. At the end of the page, record what you think would actually happen (which would fall somewhere in-between). Have a look at the piece of paper when you feel low or uncertain. Record all your successes, little ones and big ones. Record the way you coped with difficult or stressful situations. You’ll find that the worst possible outcome hardly ever happens. Once your self-confidence starts to pick up, you’ll see that your worries about lack of confidence are mainly blown out of proportion inside your head. Many of them aren’t as bad as you think. When insecurities arise in the future you will have documented proof that the outcome is rarely as bad as you think.
This is why we were given the privilege – yes privilege – to cry. There is nothing better to release hurt, anguish or lack of confidence like a good cry, especially if it’s on someone else’s shoulder. Grab a friend and have a good cry. If someone else is in need of a shoulder, lend one and let them cry. Then have a deep long breath and feel the brunt of the hurt wash away. Pick yourself up and keep on growing. Your confidence journey, as long as you keep on the path, is maturing each day into something great.
A lot of times we’re breathing shallowly without even being aware of it. Having a special breathing place will enable you to go there to relax and regroup. A certain room, chair, bench, mat etc. Soon just the act of taking time off and going to this designated spot will feed your confidence. Breathe deeply and let go of mind-aches even if it’s for 10 minutes a day. Like other young siblings, my daughters argue with each other, so I’ve devised a way to make them take responsibility of talking through their differences with each other. Whenever their arguments escalate, I put them on the ‘talk mat’ which is a special mat used exclusively for this purpose. I get the mat out, spread it on the floor and make them sit on it until they’ve come to a compromise which will suit them both. I hardly ever get involved, I just let them sort it out. It used to take them ages to work things out. Nowadays, even if they’re screaming at each other, the sight of the mat induces calm. In no time they work things out and come to find me to tell me of the solution.
Similarly, a confidence place will at first seem odd, but it’ll soon start to work for you. Use it as a place to reflect on all your recent successes, no matter how small. These are your badges. Always wear them in your breathing place. This will become a place you can travel to at any time when you’re feeling you can’t keep up. More reading: Boost confidence tips
Once you’ve done all of the above, the next step is to get body confident. We all know that if you look good, you feel good. To achieve body confidence eat natural foods like fruit, nuts, grains, and drink lots of water. A good, clean diet makes you look good, keeps you young and feeling great. When external troubles hit a healthy happy individual, he/she is more able to cope than someone who’s overweight, underweight, unhealthy and dehydrated. Also, when external criticism hits a person who has body confidence they’re able to bounce back and regroup quickly and easily.
With peace and confidence on our side, low points are still likely to attack, but not as often, and certainly not with it’s acute blow. For a great ‘Self Confidence’ programme Click Here! In the meantime, please share Boost Confidence: 5 Top Ways To Do It. Thank you for visiting and for commenting. Please have a look at our boost confidence aides to help you on your first rung of the ladder.
